[00:00:00] Latrice Latin Alexander: We would do a lot of jail clients we’d go to the jail. And this one judge would just like our clients these sentences so they could go home. But really it was setting them up for failure because you playing out and going home. And in Georgia, we have like this three strikes rule where after the third time you’re going to jail and you’re going to jail for a long time I’m fighting the system that I know, is it helping the people that I’m fighting for? And it’s like, I feel like I’m part of the problem,
[00:00:32] Triena McGuirk: Today I’d like to welcome our guests, literary Latin Alexander, welcome Latrice. Let is coming to us from Atlanta, Georgia today. And upon meeting tree Latrice and hearing her story, she has such a wealth and richness of experience of things that I feel will really resonate for a lot of people. And she’s had some really adverse life experiences and have overcome some real adversities that I feel that we can. You know, reflect and learn on and how she navigated and chewed through these things in her life. And one of the most powerful things you know, in this conversation with the Teresa’s is she, you know, brings forward this power of pause, where in the midst of life’s chaotic storms and the things that are crashing down upon us, and just really what that power of pause brings to us and knowing that we are all we need and we are all we ever need at any given moment.
If we take the time to just pause, learn how to float, as she says, and just really learn how to be in the moment and not given to the fear and learn how to control everything. And when we are able to release that, we can really gain some more clarity through these chaotic storms that we all navigate. So thank you for coming today, Theresa and speaking with us. And I’m so excited for everyone to hear your story.
[00:01:53] Muhmmad Kermalli: to kill the trees.
[00:01:55] Latrice Latin Alexander: good.
[00:01:56] Muhmmad Kermalli: The more I find out about Latrice Trina, more I’m like, oh my God. And she does this and she does that. And I, I look at it all and I think, you know, it probably comes from somewhere, right? There’s something driving her.
She’s, she’s not just, okay, she’s doing work as a lawyer today, but as soon as she has a free moment, she’s taking on something, driven by like a passion project, even the areas of law that she’s getting into now, and really starting to build her practice on driven by her Right. And interest in humanity. so, you know, I’d love to, just to get to know ULA Treece a lot better today and. And share you all these other people. I think it’s going to really, really help if you don’t mind.
[00:02:43] Latrice Latin Alexander: No, I don’t. I haven’t really interesting story. I mean, it’s not interesting to me of course, because I lived it. Right. I grew up with my grandmother and she was in this welfare to work program they would train women who were on welfare to work in different jobs. the job just happened to be the DA’s office.
Right. So my grandmother was the secretary to the da for like 30 years. So when I grew up. I had this passion for law. I love to read books. And it was like, okay, then it was like, are you going to be a lawyer or are you going to be a doctor? like blood. So I was like, lawyer. It is, you know, my whole family was like, you love to argue.
You love to read. You should be a lawyer. You should be a lawyer. So it was put in me a lot when I was younger. so my grandmother used to work at the da they’d watch Matlock. So I was like, I’m going to be a criminal lawyer. Right. That was thought. So my whole journey from like top to high school is always, you’re going to be a lawyer.
You’re going to be a lawyer. so when I got to high school, I realized no one else in my family was a lawyer. No one had even went to college. No one even knew. Because I’m a lawyer. I’m in college and I asked my professor, I said, what do you do to become a lawyer? You know? And he’s like uh, well, you got to take the LSAT and apply to schools and do this. And I was like, oh, okay. So at the time I had got pregnant, like my senior year of college. I had my son, it was just me. I’m going to school at night, working at blue cross blue shield, answering phones during the day, working at like a clothing store, wet seal on the weekend, taking care of my son. And I’m like, damn, I gotta apply to become a lawyer.
Okay. I put in my applications for a couple of schools he’s like, well, you need to take this L sat test. And I’m like, what is that? And he’s like, what’s the test that you have to take to become a lawyer. literally the test was coming up like that week. So I get up at five o’clock in the morning.
Like I’m reading a couple of books, like, okay, this is what you do. I think this is what you do. Maybe this, I get up at five o’clock in the morning, drive down to make Macon take the test. in order to get into school, you need like a one 50 average. So I get like a 1 47, right? Mind you. I never knew what this test was.
[00:05:01] Triena McGuirk: Okay. You studied for your Ellis that in a matter of days, we will take months of their life off.
[00:05:09] Latrice Latin Alexander: Okay. Look, it’s a test about You know, my, my two points off. So I’m like, what do I do? Do I go? And I take a class for like a month and they kind of tell you how to this stuff and whatever. So I go back and take it again. And I get like a 1 52 or something. So it averages out to what you need. I’m like, okay, well I have a kid, so I can’t go across country. Right. So I only applied to. Here in Georgia.
So I’m like, I can only apply to schools in Georgia because I have a kid, so I can’t go too far. And I was like, well, maybe I’ll do like a couple of schools just in case. So I think I applied to like a school in Kentucky and maybe like one in California because I had family out there.
And so I did my essays. I got into Mercer. I’m like, cool, I’ll go there. It’s here. They’re making, it’s not too far. Then we’re like, so how do we pay for this? like, okay. my mom’s like, I don’t care. Just go, you know, we’ll take care of your son. Just go to law school. So I’m like fine. I’m in the night program in college, right?
So I literally finished school. I graduated from college on Saturday, to law school on Monday and I start law school on Monday. it was just like this whole weird thing and it’s just like, go do it, whatever this is what you said, you’re going to do. I get through law school, take the bar, pass it the first time.
And it’s like, okay, now it’s time to practice. You know? So of course I go into criminal law because that’s what I thought that I wanted to do. You’re like, I’m going to be mad off. This is going to be great. This is what happens. I become a public defender
[00:06:55] Triena McGuirk: We just want to make a quick, cause we learned this before is you don’t article in the states or do like an in an articling where you work for a firm when you finish high or you’re finished your bar exam and Canada, you go work for someone and you figure out kind of where you want to go. Like what kind of, you just went, you just, you became a lawyer and you just go straight into
[00:07:16] Latrice Latin Alexander: Yeah. And sometimes
[00:07:18] Triena McGuirk: you can
[00:07:18] Latrice Latin Alexander: intern during the summer and at our school, they had this uh, minority, It was the minority internship where all the minority kids go and interview to work at big firms. Right. So mind you, there’s only 12 of us out of like a class of 200. So of the 12 of us, one didn’t care.
And then there was one extra guy. So I think they only took like 10, so they chose everybody, but me. Right. the one guy who went then decided he didn’t want to do it, but it was too late. Cause it’s not like I could get him. So I was just like, okay, well obviously I won’t be doing that. You know? And I plan on working as a PD anyway. So it was like fine. I already interviewed, got the job.
[00:08:03] Triena McGuirk: public defenders. Is that what
[00:08:04] Latrice Latin Alexander: it is
So I loved it. You know, this is what I’m doing, crime scenes, classic, you know, loving it. And then I get there and we’re doing like all the basic little crime. So like drugs stuff, know, fast, none of like big, sexy rape murders, you know? So I’m just like, okay, this is fun.
Okay. This is not fun. you know, and it just kinda, I did it for a while and I N I actually quit because I got a client who was mentally ill he had gotten in trouble so many times that when I was defending him. His only option was like 10 years in prison. Like that was the minimum he had to do it. And I’m like sitting in court crying, like tell him the judge, this isn’t fair. You know, he has a mental issue. How can you do this? Blah, blah, blah. And after that, I was like, I’m done. I’m not doing this anymore. And so I went to my boss and I was like, look, I can’t do this.
You know, I’m like the system’s set up wrong. I’m hurting people, not helping them. That’s not what I came here for. And my boss, you could just please stay, you know, you’re one of the best ones we have just take a break. And I was like, no, I gotta go do something else. And so I left,
[00:09:17] Triena McGuirk: Well, what did that feel like? Cause that’s a huge thing. Cause like a lot of people would get locked into, I put all this time and this commitment into becoming a lawyer and then you’re in it. You’re in your Matlock dream, right? Yeah. This is like, this is it. You’ve achieved and it’s not what you want.
And so like, Muhammad always does this. I feel like I’m you right now? He’s like, you just skipped over that whole piece,
I was going
[00:09:44] Muhmmad Kermalli: to go all the way back
[00:09:45] Triena McGuirk: to high school
[00:09:45] Muhmmad Kermalli: cause I got
[00:09:46] Triena McGuirk: school, right? Like, yeah.
[00:09:50] Muhmmad Kermalli: I got somethings coming. Go
[00:09:51] Triena McGuirk: ahead
Yeah. But like that’s not any small detail to skip over. Right? Like that, that shifting career. Cause you, you put so much time, energy, focus and money, you know, there’s a whole community behind you and then to shift. So. How did that, how did that part of that experience go?
[00:10:12] Latrice Latin Alexander: I’m an innovator. I don’t mind changing. I’ve really always been in the mindset of not staying somewhere that doesn’t serve me at the time. And eventually I did go back to doing criminal law on a more private level. Like my peace, my sanity, I have to mentally be able to justify what I’m doing at all.
So to me, it was such an emotional moment, because I know that if I can’t give a hundred percent, because I’m not all the way there, then I’m not going to stay there. You know, I I’d much rather move forward and do something else. I knew I could always come back to it. I wasn’t really worried, like it was a career ending moment, you know, it was just the moment mentally for me, I had to be okay with what I was doing and if I couldn’t change or shift the system, I didn’t need to be part of the system, you know, because it was that moment.
But it was also a moment. Yeah. We would do a lot of jail clients we’d go to the jail. And this one judge would just like our clients these sentences so they could go home. But really it was setting them up for failure because you playing out and going home. And in Georgia, we have like this three strikes rule where after the third time you’re going to jail and you’re going to jail for a long time I’m fighting the system that I know, is it helping the people that I’m fighting for? And it’s like, I feel like I’m part of the problem,
[00:11:44] Triena McGuirk: I do. It feels I’ve had that experience within I’ve worked within law and then other systems here in Canada. And it’s a, for me, it’s an ongoing conversation. Cause it feels like you kind of lose for me. It’s like losing pieces of your soul almost. It’s just like, it, it hurts. It like physically hurts your being, and that’s the thing like, this is, this is one of the things we look at is, is where’s our shared humanity and the application of these systems, whether it be law or other systems we engage in. Right. So, yeah. Yeah. It’s a, that’s a really big point because I feel like a lot of us get locked into our jobs and not think about what it’s doing to us as an individual.
[00:12:26] Latrice Latin Alexander: Yeah.
[00:12:27] Triena McGuirk: And we don’t exist in polarity in, in silos. Those things are one, one person they’re not, they’re not they’re not separate, right? They’re not mutually exclusive.
[00:12:39] Muhmmad Kermalli: No going back to back to high school, you know, when you were making these decisions to go to, to college, you said earlier that nobody in your family had ever done this
[00:12:50] Triena McGuirk: before
[00:12:52] Muhmmad Kermalli: if nobody had ever been a lawyer and I, I get how you make the connection and you said it was your mom was working the DA’s office and kind of where you, the, the start of it comms, right?
That’s where you started. in families, when you’re around, you’re, you’re talking to people all the time, you’re looking up to people. Obviously your mom was, was a person you looked up
[00:13:14] Latrice Latin Alexander: to
Yeah, my grandma’s my grandma.
[00:13:15] Triena McGuirk: Ms
[00:13:16] Muhmmad Kermalli: you grandma, right? Your grandma’s somebody you looked up to, because you look at anybody else or was it just grandma?
[00:13:21] Latrice Latin Alexander: I mean, I just looked at that one situation that my grandmother was in and it kind of fueled what I wanted to do. And I just knew that that’s what I was going to do. I’ve always been a very driven person, I didn’t really realize until I got to law school. That there’s this whole networking connection thing, you know that like, this person’s father is a lawyer.
Their grandfather is a lawyer. They already have these connections. They know these people to me, it was just kind of like, this is what you’re going to do. out how to do it and do it. That’s it, you know, it’s like, I didn’t know any lawyers. I didn’t know how the law works. I didn’t know the practice of law. knew. Okay. I’m supposed to be a lawyer. This is how you become a lawyer. So this is what I’m going to do.
[00:14:07] Muhmmad Kermalli: what was it about whether it was Matlock or what your grandma was doing? What was it specifically? Was there something I remember very distinctly, you know, what, I don’t want it to be was a taxi driver because I love ours. And I was like, you get to sit in the car all day and drive around with
[00:14:23] Triena McGuirk: people
[00:14:24] Muhmmad Kermalli: I’m going to be a taxi driver, for sure. is what I want me. So there was something that drove it right. There was something about being a taxi driver that I could connect to. So what was it about being year in high school? you, you might not know all of what’s involved in being a lawyer, right? By that time. So what was it that actually attracted you about being.
[00:14:44] Latrice Latin Alexander: Well, my family would always say, you love to read. You love to argue. That’s what lawyers do. You know? will argue someone down. That is my thing. Like, I am good at that. It’s always like, but what about this? What about this? What about, you know, that was really good. I started reading it as a young age.
My grandmother used to always take us to the library and I would read novels. You know, I’d read stuff. I wasn’t supposed to be reading in elementary school. I’m in elementary reading my grandmother’s romance novels, you know, if there was a book I’m reading it, I don’t care what it is. I just love to read and talking, I started talking at nine months. I was arguing with my mother when I was little. So she was like, we know what you’re going to do, you know? And it just
[00:15:28] Triena McGuirk: that
[00:15:29] Muhmmad Kermalli: Did you ever find that whether it was through some other part of your, network, whether it’s friends, family, cousins, looked at you and said no, you’re not going to be, was there ever any sort of to your thoughts about what you want it to be,
[00:15:47] Latrice Latin Alexander: no.
[00:15:47] Muhmmad Kermalli: or was everybody 100% supportive? You’re going to do
[00:15:50] Latrice Latin Alexander: this and we’re
it was just a thought it was placed in. And it was just like a given. It was never like, I even looked for other careers or thought of other things. even when I wasn’t actively pursuing it, like I said, I still knew that’s what I was going to do. so when I went to high school and I went to college and when it was time, I was kind of like, what am I supposed to do to do this? I knew it was what I was going to do, but I had no idea whatsoever what the steps were until I asked one of my professors, like, how do you become a lawyer?
[00:16:23] Muhmmad Kermalli: yeah. Pretty simple question. Right. and then you find out that, you know, oh yeah, you just kind of go right. This test that’s happening, you know, this weekend you obviously, you hadn’t ever taken the test before you walk into that test. Did you talk to others who had gone before you and Tesla that had you talked to anyone before going into it or. went there for the first
[00:16:46] Latrice Latin Alexander: I just went and did it, I got a couple of practice books. I read them. I kind of figured out how it went and I just went and did it. I’ve never been a person back then. I never had people that guided what I did or had people to talk to. It was kind of like, if you’re going to do something, you figure it out and you go do it. That’s know, so That’s
[00:17:09] Triena McGuirk: you know what I love a bit that sort of interim love about that part is your story is that you’ve heard you kind of say that message in a couple of different is your family, for lack of a better word, I feel like helped instill that kind of vision in right. They help co-create that vision with you you know, you had a baby early on and I too, I remembered you my masters with a toddler, like with a newborn six weeks old starting my master’s degree, then what the heck am I doing? But it’s the family, right? The family let’s stand up and show up in ways that whether it’s like I’ve had friends that had really serious illnesses through acquiring their education, you know, having children is a, is a very challenging time to pursue education.
And, you know, I think there’s a lot of value in that. And I think we don’t always acknowledge as a society, the power of what a really cohesive connected family can do, because a lot of people be like, oh, you’re young. You can’t do this anymore. Now you’ve had a baby. You know what I mean? And it, no, no. It’s like, okay, we have a baby. There’s another one of us to take care of. Let’s move forward. Right.
[00:18:19] Latrice Latin Alexander: was when I got pregnant, she didn’t speak to me. so I had the baby and she’s like, you had a baby now your future is ruined. You’re not going to be able. And I’m like, you why I am? Like, that’s not how this works.
When I tell you I was working at a nine to five job, I was going to school at night from like six to nine.
I was working on the weekend. Like I did what needed to be done to get through what I needed to get through. it was like, I had my sisters and my mom, so they just take the baby and put him in the little rocker thing and let him watch videos all day, you know, but it got done Maybe like a year or two ago, my grandmother was just like, oh my gosh, I never thought you would have made it to where you’ve made it to.
And it really meant a lot because she was so proud that of everything, like I still did what I said I was going to do no matter what through. And it was like I said, I was going to go to law school. I did it. I said, I was going to become a lawyer. I did it like everything that I said, I was going to do all these that are getting thrown at you.
You know, I’m just dodging and weaving and dodging and weaving, you know? did what I said I was going to do. And at the end, nobody can say anything because it was like, damn, she did it. You know, my grandmother had seven kids and she worked the job and
[00:19:39] Triena McGuirk: She came from the welfare system that you learn really quickly when you’re in that system, that when you have a child and you don’t have financial stability, it’s, it’s a downward spiral for like, let’s just face it. That’s a, it’s a vortex of just a lot of challenges for
[00:19:55] Muhammad Kermalli: people
[00:19:55] Muhmmad Kermalli: just, it, that’s just, it Latrice you say like just dodging and weaving and dodging and weaving just the way you say it. But every single time. And I mean, and this is the point because, you know, when you think about people who come from a background where there’s like very little opportunity, What they’ll talk about is how their circumstances prevented them from doing something came out of those same circumstances. why is it that you think you were able to Dodge and weave and others sometimes struggle or they get stuck? Why do you think that is.
[00:20:31] Latrice Latin Alexander: when my grandmother was in the projects, my mom was like, we have to get out of here. There’s something more for us to do. And she got my grandmother to go buy a house and it was a little white house. And my mom, my mom has always been like, there’s more out there.
And I think she instilled that in me. And even like, when we were younger, she was like in a really bad, abusive relationship. no matter what it would be like. Okay. If she can get through, if we can get through, we can get through, you know, it’s really hard for me when I hear people like, my relationship was so my childhood was as my child, what?
I had a horrible childhood, you know, sexual abuse, foster care, moving from here to there, nobody giving a damn about you, but guess what? I’m still doing, what I needed to do, because at the end of the day, are your only You, you can’t take your circumstances and use those to surround the person that you are.
have to know that whatever happens. It’s kind of a me complex. I’m the one who’s going to make me get to that next level. even if I didn’t have, you know, the financial support, the mental support, the, any support from my family at the end of the day, the one who. Responsible for what happens to me. And so I have to make sure that all the other bullshit besides got to keep going, and that’s what I did, you know?
[00:22:02] Triena McGuirk: hit the nail on it, right there is. You’re not responsible for what happens to you, but you’re responsible for how it impacts you and how you show up to
[00:22:10] Latrice Latin Alexander: the world
it helps you,
[00:22:12] Triena McGuirk: it helps you grow. It helps you. I was having this conversation with someone recently, my partner recently. And we’re just talking about when you’re going through those experiences, like through such adversity at such a young age, through such pivotal points in your development, you, you kind of like learn your, what your values You learn, you learn what you stand for sometimes, but not always knowing it. You learn, you kind of realize that in reflection after the fact. right.
[00:22:40] Latrice Latin Alexander: You get that. I me if nobody else has me, I, so I’m going to make sure I.
[00:22:46] Muhmmad Kermalli: it makes sense when you’re saying it like this Latrice and, and yet obviously it’s logical. you’re you’re a young adult at that time, either so many things, you know, you’re okay. You’re now here, you’re, gone through it all. It makes sense to you.
You’ve seen so much you’re wiser. Right. but then, then, and there, when you’re going through it Okay. Yeah. You’ve got your mom. I, like you’ve got this really strong force and you’ve got your grandma, right? Like strong forces of support. And at certain times, did you ever for example, some people will start becoming, you know, feeling sorry for themselves. get into this, like a petty of state that, did you ever experience anything like that? That all look at my, look at my background. Look at my circumstances.
[00:23:35] Latrice Latin Alexander: I’ve never had that issue. I know some people have, but I’ve always my circumstances as the driving force to get to the next level. And literally like now where I’m at that place where I was trying to get to, after all these years, I would say kind of, I look back and I’m like, Damn. I did go through a lot.
I did do a lot, but I’m here and I kinda think of it as the steps that got me to where I wanted to go. And so I’ve never had pity for myself or my circumstances, in other words, like makes it hard because when other people tell me like what they’ve been through, I’m like, okay. And
[00:24:16] Triena McGuirk: doesn’t
[00:24:17] Latrice Latin Alexander: define you. I’ve never, and I, I think that’s crazy saying that now I’m looking back and I’m like, have I ever, more like, when people tell me what they can’t do, I’m like, yeah, you can. Well, how do you know? Cause I have, you know, and that’s always been my mind.
[00:24:34] Triena McGuirk: I’m a social worker by training and I’m oftentimes in these schools, not so much social work schools, but in the practice of of that modality, there’s this kind of perception of victim savior and perpetrator. I see I that speaking to that victim kind of persona that identity that people take on and all of us can take on when looking at our experience, because we all have experienced victimization in different realms.
But what I love about what you’re saying is when you look at that triangle, it’s like, okay, yeah, I was a victim. I was victimized here, but now I’m going to save your mode and I’m going to straight up, save myself and I’m going to motivate and activate and move forward from this in a different way. you had a destination, you had a vision of where you wanted to go you had no freaking clue how you’re going to get there. No clue. And what I love about this is.
you’re in the states and we’re cannabis. I think the culture is very similar in this respect that we live in a way where we need to plan and structure strategically say, we’re going to do this, then we’re going to do this. So we’re going to meet these people and we’re going to go here and then we’re going to do this and be very strategic about how we’re going to get to that point a to point B to get to the end goal of, of becoming a lawyer.
But we don’t need to know of that. We just need to know as far as the flashlight will show us, that’s it. We just need to know that we’re still on the path. And then we have this little, little bit of light and then you just adjust and you like, figure it out as you go. I think there’s a lot of value in those little steps because we’re not inviting anxiety when we’re putting too much focus on how are we going to get.
[00:26:14] Latrice Latin Alexander: And D Muhammad, like what you said about victim. Okay. don’t think about this stuff in my childhood. I think my recent, my more recent situation where I was actual victim of assault. where I was in a relationship and my ex had tried to kill me and I had go through that, you know, having a gun raised to your head thinking, you’re going to lose your life, the SWAT team coming in, going to court, all of that stuff.
Even through that, it was like, okay, Put on your face. You know, I, at this point I’m an attorney. I’m established people know who I am, I’m going to court. it was like, I had to mind, and the way that I was raised, it was like, you don’t dwell on stuff. You don’t think about stuff, you just do what you have to do. Like, that’s it, you know? I’m going through this time, which is the most weirdest, craziest time of my life. And I know that I’m like having this depression. I know that I’m, scared to go to court. You know what I’m saying? I moved, I moved my house. I moved my job. I’m nervous because I don’t want everybody to know what’s going on in my personal life. And I don’t want to, I’m in court for me, you know, and friends are like, what are you here for? What are you doing? And it’s just like, oh yeah,
[00:27:29] Triena McGuirk: was it like in a
[00:27:30] Latrice Latin Alexander: I had to go to a hearing for a TPO so that he couldn’t contact me. And even then it was like, okay, get your plan together. You still have all these things you need to do. You have these kids, you need to take care of you have bills, get it together. So I went to counseling, you know, I did my sessions or whatever. talked to my friends for awhile I just rebooted. I changed my life. I got a new house, I got a new job and I move forward, like, okay, that’s in the past, moving on.
when I look back to it, people, I was like, oh my God, you’ve been through so much tragic stuff. did you, get past it? And it’s just. You can’t let stuff get you down. You know, you can’t to this point where like you were saying, you become this victim and you know what the hardest part is. I was like, so pissed because I didn’t want to look like a victim. everybody will think I’m weak. my gosh. Like,
[00:28:24] Triena McGuirk: that’s the thing, vulnerability and strength. It’s on the same continuum.
[00:28:30] Latrice Latin Alexander: That was my worst moment. It’s like, don’t want people to think that I’m I don’t want people to think that I’m not strong. I don’t want people to think that I can’t do what I’m supposed to do. was the part that got me the most, like, not even being a victim, but looking like,
[00:28:44] Triena McGuirk: The perception.
[00:28:46] Latrice Latin Alexander: know, that was one of the hardest moments I would say ever. Career-wise. I mentally was not okay, but I physically had to keep moving forward and I felt like I couldn’t talk to anybody about what was going on, because they’d be like,
[00:29:04] Triena McGuirk: You’re supposed to know
You’re supposed to be the person, not in this
[00:29:07] Latrice Latin Alexander: situation
like you’re representing, how are you in? You know? And I think there’s moments like that in our life where become these things that people don’t expect you to be, it messes with you, but you can’t talk to people about, you know, my friends, I can kind of talk about it, but they’re kind of like, well, did you get there?
What did you, you know? And it’s just like, don’t know. And I just want to tell people don’t ever know. How certain steps will lead you to a specific situation. can ever tell you, oh, I’ll never do that. I’ll never deal with that. I’ll never have that happen. Anything could happen, you know, you can
[00:29:50] Muhammad Kermalli: be
[00:29:51] Latrice Latin Alexander: yeah, you can become a victim of domestic violence. You can become a victim of assault.
[00:29:57] Triena McGuirk: and be a super educated well-informed person about domestic You don’t have to be.
[00:30:03] Latrice Latin Alexander: everything happens in your life. You can’t plan everything. But the only thing you can do is take what happened and move on from it in a way that helps you move forward.
[00:30:17] Triena McGuirk: because what I’ve noticed for myself is I learned some of the worst relationships, maybe be like friendships or, or partnered relationships. I’ve learned the most about myself because it’s like, okay, well, why am I willing to tolerate that? What is, what is it that is hurting in me that I will bend my boundaries so much that it gets because you, as you start to reflect on it, you’re like, oh, okay. I see that now. I didn’t see that.
[00:30:46] Latrice Latin Alexander: Then
[00:30:47] Triena McGuirk: let’s, let’s, let’s put some love into that and let’s correct that a little bit for herself.
[00:30:52] Latrice Latin Alexander: So
[00:30:53] Triena McGuirk: yeah, exactly counseling. That’s where you have to like chew on these things. And once in a while I feel right.
[00:30:59] Muhmmad Kermalli: going to ask you earlier, like if you, if you had ever had feelings of fatigue or fear, and you just talked about it right now that there are moments that either mentally you’re tiring, you’re running on fumes, you’re running on empty and you still got to waste the goal, or it’s still going to require more than what you feel like you had in the gas tank at that time. see this, this, this is exactly the part where I feel people do get stuck. Right. That’s the break down moment. a lot of times when people hear your story, I think the part that they don’t understand it’s that there’s an assumption in their minds, that you never had a breakdown never had a moment that you were afraid, but you never had fatigue that you never had depression.
Here’s Latrice She had her head on straight, whereas maybe from where you’re standing, couple of times, forget about head being on at all, let alone being straight. When you’re in that moment, that would you ever say that, you know, it was like you always had an answer or was there a moment that you were completely stuck? You didn’t know what to do.
[00:32:03] Latrice Latin Alexander: I don’t even think it’s about having an answer. I think that mentally, something in my head just like, moving. one time I was pregnant and I was working so hard I was trying to keep the household together, take care of two kids. I was pregnant with another child I go to the doctor and they’re like, don’t feel a heartbeat.
And I was like, okay, you know, and they’re like, when’s the last time you felt the heartbeat? I’m like, I don’t remember. You know? And it was like, I was working myself to death, to where I had lost my child. I didn’t even know had to go get a DNC and I’m in the hospital. And while I’m there, clients calling well, when are you going to get back?
When are we going to work on my case? When are we going to do this? We’re going to get, and it’s like, something clicked in my head. And I was like, okay, you just the child from working yourself to death. You can’t even get out of the hospital without clients calling and harassing. And it made me do a 360 on how I presented myself with my business.
I got rid of a lot of things and I restructured and I said, look, I’m going to be my own, cause at this time I work for myself. I’m like, if I’m going to be the owner of my law firm, if I’m going to be the owner of my life, I have to get to a point to where I’m comfortable. I can take care of my kids and do what I have to do.
And I have to put my health this. Right. So most women, and I’m not trying to be funny, but most women, if they lose a child, it’s a tragic thing. Their whole lives, you know, are affected me. It was just like, okay, another bump, am I going to get over it? What am I going to do? How do I fix it? Keep it moving. You know, it was just like, and I think those things, I’m not saying that what I did was okay. Cause I’m pretty sure that trauma and things, you know, kind of built up through or whatever.
[00:34:10] Triena McGuirk: but it wasn’t just above. You said you had to create, you had to change your whole
[00:34:13] Latrice Latin Alexander: life
Yeah. To make
[00:34:15] Triena McGuirk: So it didn’t impact you. It just looks different
[00:34:19] Latrice Latin Alexander: Yeah. was like, do I switch things up to where?
[00:34:24] Triena McGuirk: ‘ cause like, yeah, I’m hurting myself and I, you know, potentially caused stress for this
[00:34:29] Latrice Latin Alexander: Hmm.
[00:34:30] Triena McGuirk: as a result of that.
[00:34:31] Latrice Latin Alexander: But you would never know, like I would, I wasn’t crying. I wasn’t emotionally like putting that out there mind. It’s like, okay, damn, that’s messed up. So what do I need to do to fix my life, to make sure this doesn’t happen again? You know,
[00:34:45] Muhmmad Kermalli: And what was the answer to it? You said you had to, to
[00:34:48] Triena McGuirk: he had to get rid of adventure
[00:34:49] Muhmmad Kermalli: things
you hadn’t gotten rid of a bunch of things. What were the things that you had to get rid
[00:34:53] Latrice Latin Alexander: Clients, the work that I was doing, the way that I was handling my business, you know, I had to step back, the person I was with at the time, you know, it’s like, if I’m sitting here killing myself to take care of this family and I’m doing it by myself, that’s not going to work. Let me step back, let me downsize, me reorganize what I’m doing.
Life-wise and realize that I have these two kids that I have to take care of and there’s nobody else that’s going to do that. Right. If I die or something happens to me, who’s going to take care of my kids, you know? So it’s like, okay. Restructured to the point where you can take care of your kids. You’re physically present for your kids.
You’re not working so hard that you’re killing yourself, maybe dial back on the houses and the cars and all of these things that people think life is supposed to look like you’re trying to create this perfect picture of what life is. And it’s feeling you,
[00:35:56] Triena McGuirk: Yeah.
[00:35:57] Muhmmad Kermalli: so that’s interesting because that means that had to exist at that point in time. The things that you talking about that you had to dial. So that means that we go further back at a previous point in time. You thought that was the thing to do, which was to add those things on. C like you start somewhere here I’m going to be this lawyer and you go, you have thoughts along the line, you started adding things on, and then you got yourself to a point where you started saying, I got to take those things out.
If it’s okay, I’d like to ask. you know, if you don’t mind sharing go back to the part where, you know, you started thinking it was okay to add those, those things on that you later decided what was time to take off? What were you, what were you since, since you were like, obviously saying you’re all, obviously, very real person.
You’re very practical. What made you think that those were the things to add on when you added on what, what was it that drove you to think that they were the right things to add on, to take on more clients?
[00:36:58] Latrice Latin Alexander: was like more of the society pressure, the community pressure, where it’s like, if you’re going to be a lawyer, this is what it looks like. You have. You have staff, you have a big house, you have, you know, two cars, you have your kids, you know, thriving. It’s like this lifestyle that’s portrayed of what a lawyer is supposed to have.
And I just realized that. That wasn’t it, you know, at that point and I kind of dial back, you know, got rid of the bigger house, got a smaller town home, got rid of some cars, just had one car, my kids. And then it was like, okay, like I am the queen of reinvention. I’ve had my own for all my own since like about 2010. But I would get to the point where I was like, don’t think I can do this. I’m going to go work somewhere. and then I get a job and I’d work and I’d be like, these people are stupid. I’m going to quit. So then I go somewhere else and I get a job and I’d be like, this isn’t gonna work.
You know? And so I did this for years. It was like, I’d worked somewhere. It wouldn’t work. I try on my own a little bit. It wouldn’t work. I go work somewhere. And finally around the pandemic time, I was at this firm and I had been in practice by then about 10, 12 years. So I had a lot of experience and well, let’s go back. So after, when I had had the victimizations situation, I was working at a firm with my mentor and we were doing good, but mentally I couldn’t keep going. I said, I need to switch things up. So I said, I’m going to go work for a firm. And he’s like, you can stay here.
[00:38:34] Muhmmad Kermalli: just pause when you say things were going good, but what I wasn’t doing good mentally. How do you, how do you say that? All in one
[00:38:42] Muhammad Kermalli: sentence.
[00:38:42] Latrice Latin Alexander: Because I was working, I had the perfect from the perfect lifestyle, but mentally after what happened, could not function. at this firm it was like more being my own boss. So I brought in clients, I did the work and like my mind just wouldn’t let me keep going in that room. And I was like, I need to take a step back go work at affirm and have that structure I’m not in a mental place where I can be a creative or stuff like that. So I’m like, like, let’s
[00:39:18] Muhmmad Kermalli: get
What are the signs to you that, that this was the case? What kind of signs did you use to told you that I’m not in the right place.
[00:39:27] Latrice Latin Alexander: I had a lot of anxiety I can’t even describe it. It was like, I just couldn’t mentally get into what I was doing. And it was because I had to do what I was doing. I wanted to go like in a place where they just told me what to do and I could do it. I didn’t want to have to think about it.
You know, I didn’t wanna have to be the visionary. I didn’t want to have to, like, I just wanted to go somewhere where they’d be like, here’s your cases, here’s your, this
[00:39:55] Triena McGuirk: And then you’re guaranteed a salary. You don’t have to think about how many, much money am I bringing What’s my overhead, all that
[00:40:01] Latrice Latin Alexander: I needed that. More structural, not the entrepreneurial. so I went and I worked and it was just like, as I was working, I was getting back to myself, right. it’s like, oh, I know how to do this. Oh, we’re not doing this right. Oh, we need to do this. Oh, this needs to. it was like this pushback
[00:40:22] Muhmmad Kermalli: your entrepreneurial spirit,
[00:40:24] Latrice Latin Alexander: started coming back it was like, wait a minute, I’m smarter than you guys. I’ve done this. You haven’t even tried a trucking case and I’m telling you what to do. And you’re my boss telling me what to do. And you haven’t even done what I did. not going to work. You know? I started looking for jobs and I had five offers at five other places I chose one. He seemed to be really cool.
I called another friend. Do you know him? If you worked with him, blah, blah, blah. he’s a cool guy. He has a lot of stuff going on. It was higher in injury stuff. Cause I was doing personal injury at the time. We, you know, we meet, we do this, do that. Boom. You’re offered a job. You can come. Okay. So I tell my old job, you know, I’m leaving given two, weeks notice. where are you going?
[00:41:10] Muhmmad Kermalli: This is all that.
[00:41:12] Latrice Latin Alexander: This is pre pandemic. This is like December, 2019. this was like February. Cause I had got really sick. So this is like a month before the pandemic starts. It’s February. So I go, you know, my old boss. Oh, where are you going? Oh, another firm. So my old boss the guy that I was going to work for, calls him and was like, oh, she’s working there. Like he thought I was making stuff up or something, you know? And he’s like, yeah, I don’t know how that conversation ensued. I go to the new job, I pack up my stuff, you know, put everything down.
I’m excited. Like I got this new job I get there and he’s like, Okay, well, I want you to start working on this, so I’m like, cool. So I started working, so I’m asking questions. How does your structure go? What kind of stuff do you, do you know? How do you do your clients? Well, you should be able to know this.
You know, I’m not asking stuff that anyone wouldn’t ask. If they go work at a job. So finally I’m there for like five days. I come in on Monday on Friday, he comes in and he goes, you know, I don’t think this is a good fit for you. I don’t think you have the skills that I was looking for. So I’m going to have to let you go five days, like never worked on a case, never, you know?
And I was just like, okay guys, this is a joke. It’s so mind you, I had left my job. I had turned down. Other job offers here to be fired in five days. And I’m like, Okay, this is what we’re doing. So I’m jobless. I have a brand new house. I have two children and then comes, COVID
[00:42:53] Triena McGuirk: Oh, gosh.
[00:42:55] Latrice Latin Alexander: like, is fun. You know? Like, what do you do next?
[00:43:01] Muhmmad Kermalli: in this time model the
[00:43:02] Latrice Latin Alexander: trees
[00:43:03] Muhmmad Kermalli: there’s not the moment. not a moment of like oh man. Like, like, or the feeling of just over it’s it’s overwhelming. There’s didn’t have this feeling at all in this moment
[00:43:15] Latrice Latin Alexander: at all
at this point, I’m thinking that life’s a joke and it’s just funny, you know, I’m just like, I was mad. I was pissed because I was,
[00:43:25] Muhmmad Kermalli: okay.
[00:43:26] Latrice Latin Alexander: you know,
and like I wanted to create a voodoo doll of this guy and like, just poke it, like I’m pissed. Cause I feel like just Everything that I could have had going on, but this lasts for a moment because at the end of the day, I am spiritual.
I do believe in God. I do believe that things happen for a reason. And I was like, you know what? Maybe happened because it was supposed to happen because if I didn’t leave, right, I would have still been there. If I didn’t get fired, I wouldn’t have gotten fired up to start my own business again. I wouldn’t be having a million dollar company right now with employees working in doing what I supposed to do.
So all of those steps took me to the place, to where was like God said, look, I know the plans that I have for you. It’s not to work for somebody else. It’s not to be somebody, you know, associate have the power. To create your own, run your own and do what you need to do. And you need to quit relying on other people to run your path.
And that’s what I felt like I was doing. I was second guessing myself and my ability to do what I needed to do. And by doing that, I was placing myself in these situations where I knew it was uncomfortable, but I was too scared to go out there and do what I knew I needed to do, which was have my own company run it and be that entrepreneur that I was supposed to be.
[00:45:05] Muhmmad Kermalli: you see that that’s just it right there. You know, as, as brave as you . Are and as strong as the Teresa’s, and like you said, you know, sometimes you gotta put on that face of strength, nobody knows underneath just how unsettling things can feel. They gotta, they gotta be given this impression that Latrice is in control of what’s going on right now, but underneath his leg. Ah, oh, oh, cause a lot of people, when they look at it, It sounds like, oh, it was this. Okay. Then I just stopped for a moment. I took a pause, I took a deep breath and then everything was fine. And then I just took the next step.
And that’s not what happened. Right. There was moments that you want to create a vote at all. There’s moment know you are kids. the hard part is for a lot of people is that they stay in that, right? And that’s the, that’s the thing. They stay in that. then it feeds itself and it spirals downwards.
you somehow throughout the course of all of your experiences continuously, every time you run into that fatigue, tiredness, fear abuse, assault, time you feel it, and you run into these, you know, different sort of junctures you do go through that. it’s not like you don’t, it’s not like you some magical shield around you. You feel it the same as anybody
[00:46:24] Latrice Latin Alexander: I feel it. I just moved past it.
[00:46:28] Muhmmad Kermalli: So that’s the point is that I’m trying to understand, is it, why is it you think some people get stuck there what a, what is it called a Trina coping? You know, it’s like how people will cope with those moments. They’ll get into some way of trying to forget or to try and escape, you know, from that feeling.
And whether they’ll Medicaid or whether they’ll, you know, use some way of just, you know, getting themselves out a reality. Right. you didn’t do any of that stuff. Whereas other people fall to that and when they fall, they fall hard because that kinda stuff just keeps going. Right. You never not think of doing those kinds of things as well? Escaping.
[00:47:06] Latrice Latin Alexander: mean, course, I think we all have those thoughts at sometimes. You know, there’s always times where I’m like, Ooh, what if I just killed myself? And everything was over, you know, what have, I just ended everything right now and didn’t have to deal with it. I mean, I’ve had all kinds of thoughts. I’ve never had addiction thoughts, so I’ve never really been into drugs or drinking. That’s never kind of been my thing. I sit back and I get really quiet and sometimes I get to the point, if I get really, really, really, really, really, really overwhelmed, I just stop everything.
And it’s just like, awake. I’m gonna sit here and I’m awake and something’s going to happen. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t know how it’s going to happen, but it’s like, if you get too noisy and you close the door and you wait just sit back I would say that my faith has a lot to do with it.
You know, I don’t want to go to hell, so I can’t kill myself. know, I don’t want to go to jail, so I can’t kill somebody else. I got two kids to feed. So it’s kinda like when you can’t figure out anything and everything is stressed out, everything is crazy and going and going, stop and wait see what happens.
[00:48:17] Muhmmad Kermalli: I love that.
[00:48:18] Triena McGuirk: stop trying to control
[00:48:20] Muhmmad Kermalli: I think, I think, that that’s amazing. Not just advice, but it sounds like that must have been what you did because it, you, you, you can’t, you don’t know what to do and the bills keep coming. Like I call, I call them like waves of the ocean. Like you can fall off the surfboard and the wave doesn’t know you fell off the surf board.
wave just that it’s got to be a wave and it just keeps coming. And then there’s another wave after that. And, and that’s the reality that’s where people just sort of, they, they, they get under water and they don’t know how to get back up. Do you think that’s, as a result of maybe all your, all your reading that you did, I mean, you did a lot, a lot of reading, right? I mean, that’s a, that’s a pretty big advantage to have. That knowledge, whether it’s from this book or that book you’ve collect, any of that played into it for you.
[00:49:12] Latrice Latin Alexander: I do to a point, like I read a lot and when you read stories, you see people go through progressions in life and they end up with an ending, you know, maybe it’s a happy ending. Maybe it’s a sad ending. Maybe it’s, you know, be this summer, so off topic, I did swimming lessons, but I never learned how to swim. So I was scared of the water. Right. And I finally got in. I’m like, I’m gonna swim. I’m learning how to go in the deep end. And it’s like funny, because I told my swim instructor. I said, all I need to learn to do is float because if I can flip. Then I can stay alive and
[00:49:51] Triena McGuirk: think
[00:49:51] Latrice Latin Alexander: about that. Think about life.
[00:49:53] Muhmmad Kermalli: Say that again.
[00:49:54] Latrice Latin Alexander: I need to do is learn to float because if I can float, I can stay alive. So that more. As the analogy with say, you’re out in the middle of the ocean, somebody drops you in the water. You can sit there and you can all this energy, flapping your arms and getting scared and trying to move. Or you can just get out of your back and float.
You can float and either somebody will come get you, will eat you or you’ll make it to the ground. You know? And I think that’s the biggest analogy that people need to realize is like and float until something happens because something’s going to happen. just give yourself that breather to move forward.
[00:50:36] Muhmmad Kermalli: Latrice has now figured it out. She never has any more overwhelming moments
[00:50:41] Triena McGuirk: and
[00:50:41] Muhmmad Kermalli: no more this, no more need for all that. Right.
[00:50:45] Latrice Latin Alexander: until like, what two weeks ago, when I catch viral meningitis and I’m in the hospital for 10 days and I’m like, I don’t have any choice, but to sit there, like I couldn’t work. I couldn’t do. the cool thing is, is that set up my business to a point to where it works, whether I’m working or not.
while I’m in the hospital, my paralegals handling calls, they’re closing clients, they’re paying the bills, they’re getting everything done to where I’ve gotten to this point in life where if something happens like that, My life doesn’t stop. You know, it keeps going and everyone’s like, how are you doing this?
How are you doing? I got a good team, you know, was ill. It, I have amazing, you know, receptionist. I have a great assistant. And even now, I mean, I look good, but I’m not a hundred percent. Like I have migraines. I still have to take medicine three times a day. have to see a neurologist. It’s a progression of things that happen.
it’s like, I’m so happy that I don’t look like what I’ve been through. That’s what I say all the time. Right. I go through stuff every day, all the time, and it’s not going to stop. So it comes to this point where it’s like, just float.
[00:52:06] Triena McGuirk: Yeah.
[00:52:08] Muhmmad Kermalli: maybe, maybe you do look like what you’ve been through and you’ve been able to actually show kind of how good it can look. You know, I think, I think sometimes when, I know when we go through something, you know, when we look at it as if it’s not good as if it’s meant to destroy us, then, then that that’s the, that’s the lens we put on it.
when we look at what we go through and we see that it’s actually been all of these things have all been part of, like you said, you, Hey, this is who you are. This is who you’re meant to be. out looking like you do, which is the, the, like, again, that lens of it, which is to show that there’s, there’s really a beautiful experience that, that we’ve gone through we’ll we’ll could have, would, you could call like a version of hell has actually been like, you know, the universe is way or God or whatever you want to call
[00:53:04] Latrice Latin Alexander: it
[00:53:06] Muhmmad Kermalli: A way of being able to say and all the trees there’s more for you that I had, that, I had planned for you or that, that you’re capable of now go get it, you know, and go be, be who you’re supposed to be. Do you feel now after having gone through it these iterations, feel like you’re in a state of balance. you ever start feeling the imbalance coming anymore?
[00:53:28] Latrice Latin Alexander: And I say now, because I’m married and I have a husband, and I think that a lot of the things that were my previous issues, where it was just me, you know, I had to survive. I had to take care of everything I had to get in where I fit in, you know? And now by having a husband, it’s like, have that other person. Who, if I fall, I know somebody is going to pick me up, you know, if I can’t hustle, hustle, hustle, I know my bills are going to be paid. I can’t, you know, go as hard as I usually do. It’s okay. Because I have someone here, a partner, know, who can push me up when I’m not up myself. I think people don’t take that into account and it doesn’t have to be a husband. If you are a woman and you have a wife or two males or whatever, but just
[00:54:26] Triena McGuirk: having a
[00:54:27] Latrice Latin Alexander: partner, you know, it could be a best friend. It could be a family member. But one of the hardest things for me being, you know, was a one woman show. finally realized that I could have somebody else can help me and take a lot of that stress off. And because of that, I don’t worry about falling. Like I used to,
[00:54:50] Muhmmad Kermalli: I love that. So you’re even detaching from yourself a little bit. Now you’re letting go the things that you control. and, and letting that into, into the hands of, like you said, someone or something outside of yourself I think that’s called trust.
[00:55:07] Latrice Latin Alexander: We’re not meant to do it alone, I guess. And a lot of
[00:55:10] Triena McGuirk: my things
[00:55:10] Latrice Latin Alexander: came from doing it alone and being the person, you know, even with family, it was still like, okay, you guys can’t help me. I gotta do this myself. And I think that’s where the detachment came from and the kind of, was there for survivor.
It was just like, look, it’s me. It’s the world. Come on me. What are we doing? Oh, we fell down. back up and keep going. Nobody’s going to be here to pick us up. You know, nobody’s going to be here to help us. So if we don’t do it, it’s not going to be done.
[00:55:39] Muhmmad Kermalli: That’s an amazing journey, Latrice to go from a point. And I don’t think there’s necessarily one point that’s better another
[00:55:47] Latrice Latin Alexander: point
[00:55:48] Muhmmad Kermalli: they’re all relevant. But to see you talk about it. How, when you feel like you’re all alone and how to trust yourself and how to believe in yourself at that time versus, you know, another way of doing it, where you’re not alone, you build that sort of trust in yourself to let go. and that things will still be okay. Next for Latrice?
[00:56:10] Latrice Latin Alexander: you know, I built this amazing work-life balance to where I’m building my business, I’m building it to a point to where my business works around my life, not my life working around my business. I still get to travel. I still get to go to all my daughter’s cheer meets and games, and still be there to do things like it’s funny.
I feel like I’m half housewife, half CEO, half the time. I just want to grow mentally work, read my books. I still love to read books. I read like two books, a book a week. I love to do that. and just living life, like, I feel like these last 40 years have been so crazy and I tell my husband, you got 40 more years by 80.
I want to be out of here. Like, I don’t want. Live to like a hundred or nothing like that. So taking these next 40 years and just living and loving life and being comfortable. That’s what’s next. If you ask him how many exactly. I don’t do five and 10 year plans. Cause you know, my life is crazy. I could be the CEO of Coke and five years. We never know. don’t think plans
[00:57:15] Triena McGuirk: Hm.
[00:57:16] Latrice Latin Alexander: I have for my life is to be happy and healthy and comfortable and keep living.
[00:57:23] Muhmmad Kermalli: if you had to trade any part of it, you know, the last 40 years
[00:57:26] Latrice Latin Alexander: is
[00:57:26] Muhmmad Kermalli: there one part that you would trade.
[00:57:29] Latrice Latin Alexander: honestly I don’t think so because I think everything that I’ve been through created the person that I am today. And I can’t literally say if I took out certain parts, if I’d be where I am now. So, because I am in this happy. Wonderful place. take everything that it took to get me here, because I can’t . Necessarily say if I would have switched to everything, if I be here now,
[00:57:56] Muhmmad Kermalli: let’s just did when people are kind going through what they’re going through in their journeys. Some people really, really struggle with that Latrice and that’s why that’s what we hear. And that’s what I love about your story is that, you know, if you’re able to look at that person and you’re able to, you know, to, to talk to that person who is in like extreme discomfort, extreme pain, feeling extremely overwhelmed who’s going through maybe what you went through, maybe more or less, you know, the feeling, but there was just very, very
[00:58:24] Latrice Latin Alexander: right.
[00:58:24] Muhmmad Kermalli: And they’re this close. They’re tired. They don’t know what to do next. What do you say to that?
[00:58:30] Latrice Latin Alexander: Be still, be still quit everything, you know, even when it was times where I was looking for a job, looking for this, looking for, I’m just have to stop and restate. Because the more you get your mind trying to fix things, the more you can mess them up. it’s like, so many people have this grand plan of what your life is supposed to be, and you’re fighting so hard to hit that plan.
And you’re wondering why it’s not working. that’s not the plan for you. And maybe if you sit down just be quiet, what you’re supposed to do will come to you
[00:59:11] Triena McGuirk: the president. Yeah.
[00:59:12] Latrice Latin Alexander: if you clear your mind, things that need to come in will come in when they do, you know, and it’s like, it’s so much clutter. It’s so much stuff everywhere, everywhere, everywhere, stop, you know, just stop for a moment, whether it be 10 minutes, whether it be a day, whether it be a weekend, just stop however long it takes you to be able to figure out what your next steps are, is however long it takes. You know,
[00:59:42] Triena McGuirk: yeah.
[00:59:45] Latrice Latin Alexander: Trina did I, I got you speechless over there.
[00:59:49] Triena McGuirk: Agreeing with everything saying everything. You’re you’re you’re speaking to the choir
[00:59:55] Latrice Latin Alexander: over here
I didn’t think this is what this was going to be like.
[00:59:59] Triena McGuirk: I honestly, I, when I’m hearing you speak, we have actually very similar lived experiences. It’s really interesting. Mom would probably know, knows that already, but like like you. I was an alpha personality. Still am. Cerebral driven, the very focused lists. You name it, like just knock things out.
And sometimes the body literally just says no, and you have to drop to the ground and you have to pay attention and look in word because you can’t control. And it comes back to like early on the conversation where I was listening to you and I had the visualization of like that flashlight. We just need to know this much, you know, fear is such a great robber of our presence and our capacity to actually reflect in invite what aligns. And so once we understand what fears purposes is to often derail us, not necessarily motivate us, you know, meditation is, is really a great path to, to coming into that place. Right?
[01:01:01] Latrice Latin Alexander: those are my things. Meditation floating, life
[01:01:06] Muhmmad Kermalli: What’s difference between meditation and floating.
[01:01:10] Latrice Latin Alexander: you’re floating. You’re just being.
[01:01:14] Triena McGuirk: I actually physically float. I belong to a gym and I go into a lane and I will float there. I don’t need any buoys or anything, and I will just float there and it actually makes people really uncomfortable. So it’s kind of a good metaphor in a way, because people are like, are you okay? Okay. You’re just floating around like, yeah, man, this is the best part. Just floating. And, and so this is the thing too, is when you take pause and chaos, people are like, why are you, why are you sitting there calmly and not freaking out right
[01:01:42] Latrice Latin Alexander: my husband took me on a date this float chamber literally you go in there and you just
[01:01:51] Triena McGuirk: Yep. still magnesium. You can’t.
[01:01:54] Latrice Latin Alexander: see anything, you can’t feel anything. You literally just float. Now at the time, I was like, this is the weirdest shit ever, but afterwards it made sense. Like I wouldn’t go back. Cause I was just like, I don’t know what to do, you know, but when I took my swimming lessons, I was the same. I, I was like, teach me how to float. Once you teach me how to float, never drown.
[01:02:17] Muhmmad Kermalli: I was in Bose’s third thing
[01:02:19] Latrice Latin Alexander: Live life, be happy, live life, you know, and to live life, I had to learn. You can’t plan every single thing. Sometimes you just gotta go with the flow if it flows great, if it doesn’t, it doesn’t. But when people start to plan and they’re like, in this time I’m going to have kids, I’m going to be married. I’m going to have a house. I’m going to do this. And then it doesn’t happen. That’s when they become alcoholics or drugs, because they didn’t go by this plan that they created for themselves. And they’re so depressed. That things didn’t go, how they thought they were, that they didn’t live the life that they had at the time.
And you wasted all this time trying to go for this plan. But what about all that life you could’ve lived in between
[01:03:03] Triena McGuirk: in that moment and appreciate you having
[01:03:05] Latrice Latin Alexander: the things you could have seen, the people you could have helped different ways. Like you could have impacted the world, wasted all that time, working towards this plan didn’t even happen or wasn’t going to happen, because that was never the plan you were supposed to do in the first place?
[01:03:23] Muhmmad Kermalli: It’s a beautiful journey. Thank you so much for just like sharing her with us as well. And I know in, in listening you, you tell it your way in, in, from your perspective and what it felt like going through what you went through and then how you managed your way through it and how you ways to meditate and floats and those, are like lessons that I know are going to stay with me for awhile and I think are really going to be appreciated by everybody that’s listening.
So thank you so much joining conversation.
[01:03:54] Latrice Latin Alexander: I hope I somebody out, somebody out there to think, let me go flow.
[01:04:00] Muhmmad Kermalli: going to go plug if there’s one thing I’m taking away from this, it’s, you know, a float
[01:04:06] Triena McGuirk: Yeah.